


The Balance of Forces

by Just_Another_Wolf



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Force-Sensitive Reader, Han Solo Lives, Kylo Ren is not good at emotions, Slow Burn, because no one wanted him to die, but we love him anyway, probably eventual smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-02-22 22:28:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13176522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_Another_Wolf/pseuds/Just_Another_Wolf
Summary: You had known you were Force sensitive from a young age, but you'd never been trained to be a Jedi, nor were you interested in taking part in the war. However keeping the Force hidden is no easy task, and circumstances lead to you being a prisoner of the First Order, and Kylo Ren, who attempts to train you in the ways of the Dark Side.You have no interest in fighting the war, but as time passes you realize that there's something, someone, that you want to fight for.





	1. Mess

"Did you hear?"

You refrained from rolling your eyes as you heard the start of what was inevitably more gossip about either the First Order or the Resistance. The small planet that you lived on may have been pretty much unknown, but it was pretty good at picking up on these sorts of things. Transmissions were easily picked up on, and lots of different people passed through.

"Apparently Han Solo is back."

Oh now this was interesting. You turned your head slightly towards the conversation between the aliens to your left, focusing your hearing on them.

"And they have a map to Luke Skywalker."

More interesting. But, like you cared. These idiots and their never ending war. New Jedi, old Jedi, when did it end? You took another large gulp from your drink as their conversation continued.

"I bet Kylo Ren won't be happy about this."

Oh the infamous Kylo Ren. The child who threw tantrums. You rolled your eyes as you sighed and stood up, not wanting to hear any more of this. You threw some money down on the counter and walked out of the bar.

Your planet was tropical, with lots of trees and beautiful blue skies. And well, it wasn't your home planet, but it's where you currently lived. How you had come to end up here was a long and detailed story that you didn't particularly enjoy thinking about. The planet was peaceful though, which is what you loved about it, it was a nice change from your past. You took a deep breath of the clear air as you looked up at the clear night sky. Constellations stared back at you, some recognizable and some completely foreign to you. You felt a smile pull at your lips before heading in a slow walk back to your little hut.

Your hut was a small thing, mostly made of wood. It consisted of one room that had everything you needed for survival in it, and what small personal belongings you still had left. When you reached your hut you flicked the door shut behind you. It was probably a bad habit to carelessly use the Force in such a way, but you hadn't been taught better. In fact, you hadn't been taught at all.

You'd discovered you were Force sensitive at a young age, some time after your parents had died, killed fighting for the Resistance in that stupid war. Some bullies were picking on you and insulting your family, and you just flung them across the room. With the Force. Of course that drew attention, so that was when your continuous running from conflict began.

You'd heard rumors of the dark side and the light side, but you'd never really felt the draw of one or the other. It only seemed logical to you that there should be a balance of both. And without a teacher forcing you in either direction, you just swayed on the border, leaning to either side but never fully making the decision. Your ways of using the force were also quite odd. You were certainly no Jedi.

You walked over to your bed, shedding the top layers of your clothes into the more comfortable clothes underneath to sleep, a simple tank top and some pants. Lying down and drawing the covers over yourself, you closed your eyes and drifted into oblivion.

Only to be woken, most likely several hours later, by screams and the familiar sound of the blasters commonly used by stormtroopers. You groaned to yourself, before the panic and adrenaline set in. You heart started racing and you jumped up, crouching by your window. Taking a calming breath, you peeked over the edge to catch a glimpse of what was going on.

The stormtroopers were rounding up everyone in the small village, shooting those who tried to escape but not aiming to kill. They must've been looking for someone with information.

Suddenly the door to your hut was kicked down and two stormtroopers came rushing in. You spun around to face them, immediately holding your hands up in surrender. You knew that sometimes it was better just to not run.

They took you without a word, taking you in the direction that everyone else was going. A line was being formed, every single villager being shoved to their knees with the guns of the stormtroopers aimed at them. You were shoved down at the end of the line, knees hitting the ground hard. You kept you head down, not saying a word as those next to you panicked.

A ship came flying in, and you tilted your head up slightly to look at it. It opened up, revealing several more stormtroopers and a black clad figure wearing a helmet. Your eyes widened slightly. That had to be Kylo Ren… He was tall, lean and muscular, his black clothes fitting quite well and the cape billowing out behind him as he walked.

Kylo Ren walked swiftly to the line of villagers on their knees. He stopped and slowly looked at each of them individually, including you, but you kept your head down, mentally keeping the Force within you on lockdown. Ren would be able to sense you if you didn't block yourself off, and if he knew, then they would take you in an instant. Or kill you, either way.

"The Resistance Base," he spoke, his deep voice distorted by the helmet. "Where is it?" You closed your eyes, holding back a groan. Of course the Resistance would choose a small planet like this. You were more surprised that the First Order didn't just storm the place instead of actually _asking_ where they were. Or perhaps there was simply Resistance members here who knew where the base was. You certainly didn't know.

Suddenly Kylo Ren's arm shot out, and one of the villagers started choking, clawing at his own neck as he was raised slowly off the ground. "You _will_ tell me." The man, despite choking, managed to spit at Ren. A second later he was impaled on a red lightsaber, searing through his chest. You winced, before your expression morphed into a scowl directed at Kylo Ren.

"If no one comes forward," Kylo Ren said, "then you all die." You closed your eyes again. These were innocent people, they didn't deserve to be caught up in this. And maybe you deserved it considering your powers, but you just didn't _want_ to be caught up in this.

There was a moment and no one stepped forward. Who knows, maybe everyone here was genuinely clueless. In fact, that was more than likely the case. You'd lived here for years and nothing about any of these people was remotely out of the ordinary.

Ren waited another moment before turning away. A stormtrooper in silver (oo fancy), yelled a command and the rest of the troops raised their guns at the helpless villagers. You bit your lip, conflicted over whether or not to take action. Some of these people, well you wouldn't go as far to call them your friends, but you knew them. There were familiar and children here, people who just wanted to live out their lives happily. No one here deserved to die. And you couldn't stand by and let them die knowing that there was something you could do.

"Wait."

It took you a second to realize that the word had come from your own mouth. You saw the villagers looking at you with shock and horror. The stormtroopers all looked at you, and Kylo Ren turned around slowly. God you hoped you didn't regret this, it was too late to turn back now.

You stood slowly with your hands raised above your head, and Ren walked slowly back over to you. You took a deep breath and chose your next words carefully.

"I'm not with the Resistance," you said slowly. "Nor do I know where they are. I doubt anyone here does—"

"Then you're useless," Ren snarled, the impatient prick, and reached for his lightsaber. But you were quicker, holding out your hand and pulling the lightsaber through the air, pressing the button on it and aiming it at a surprised Kylo Ren. You must have looked like quite the sight, holding a red lightsaber out at one of the most dangerous people in the galaxy, while only wearing a tank top and pants, not even wearing shoes.

"If you would let me finish," you growled. You expected him to lash out at you, so you lowered the lightsaber a bit to show you had no intention of actually attacking him. "You'll get nothing from these people. If you leave them alone, unharmed, I'll give myself up to you without a fight." A moment passed before you added, "Of course, you could take me by force but we all know that will only get messy."

There was a pause of silence from all surrounding parties. You let down the mental shield you had up that was hiding you from Kylo Ren sensing you, allowing him to see you properly. You could feel it as he probed at the surface of your mind, and if you had to guess all he found there was the protectiveness you felt for the village.

Kylo Ren stared at you for a few moments and you just wished you could see anything that would tell what he was thinking behind that damn helmet of his. Then he gave a nod, and the troopers relaxed their weapons, allowing the villagers to scurry away to safety. You slumped in relief, and pressed the button to sheath the lightsaber, spinning it in your hand to pass it hilt first to Ren. There was a moment where he seemed to be watching you, calculating, before he took the lightsaber. Then the second it was in his hand, he had it out again and at your throat. You could feel the heat radiating off of it, but didn't flinch.

"How do I know you're not with the Resistance?" he growled.

"Please, I want no part in either side of your petty war, surely you can sense that," you glared back. "How do I know you won't kill my village behind my back?" There was no reply. "Promise me. And then I'll walk onto that ship of yours willingly."

He was silent for a moment, the helmet again preventing you from being able to see his expression. "Fine. I promise they will not be harmed."

"Thank you," you murmured, assuming that this was the best outcome to this scenario, then turned and walked off in the direction of the aircraft. The stormtroopers fell in close beside you, as if you would try to escape. But there wasn't much point in that now. The First Order knew there was another Force sensitive person out there, and the villagers would probably pass it on to the Resistance too. You weren't safe here anymore. Maybe you could escape later on, but for now so long as you had a bed, you could settle.

As you walked onto the aircraft, you realized you didn't actually know where to go, which somewhat ruined the dramatic effect of your walk. The troopers were filing in around you, and you suddenly felt very out of place.

"Follow me," came that low voice as Kylo Ren walked past you and further into the aircraft. You did so, staying a safe distance away from him as you followed him. As the two of you walked, you heard him quickly give commands to the silver stormtrooper, something about finding the rebel base by other means. The trooper nodded and walked off, leaving the two of you to walk onto the bridge of the small aircraft.

You stood awkwardly to the side as the aircraft started taking off, everyone around you performing some sort of job. You expected Ren to say something, anything, but all you received was silence. Eventually you just sighed and sat down in a chair at one of the stations. Ren glanced at you, but left you be.

For a moment you allowed yourself to think over what you'd just done, in the first moment of calm since you'd woken up. A war you wanted absolutely no part in, and you'd just thrown yourself into the middle of it, all to save a few villagers. Was it really worth it? …To save the lives of a few families, yes. Besides, the First Order couldn't force you to fight for them.

"What's your name?"

You looked over at Ren, who was facing you. Again, it was difficult to read him with that damned helmet on.

"______," you said simply, not giving a last name because honestly, you didn't know it.

"You're not a Jedi," he said bluntly.

"Really, I couldn't tell," you said, heavy with sarcasm as you rolled your eyes. You felt his irritation and glared up at him.

"You're not light. Or dark either."

"I think you'll find I don't like taking sides," you growled at him, and his irritation at you only grew.

"You _will_ join the dark side," he snarled, a hand on his lightsaber. You glanced at his hand before raising your own hands in peace.

"Whatever you say Ren, whatever you say." You could tell you were only making him angrier and smirked slightly, lowering your hands before changing your expression to one of innocence. He simply turned and stalked away, walking through a hallway before you heard the signature sound of a lightsaber being swung, followed a crash. If you had to bet, there was probably a slash in the wall out in the walkway. You scoffed to yourself before leaning back in the chair, turning towards the front of the aircraft.

______________________________

 

You weren't paying much attention when the aircraft landed on what you assumed was a star destroyer. If the gossip was right, then the Starkiller Base had been destroyed by the Resistance, so they couldn't be taking you there.

"Follow me." Ren stood over you and you frowned slightly but stood up and followed him anyway. He led you off of the aircraft and into a large hanger filled with stormtroopers and other aircrafts. You gazed around with barely hidden awe. This was bigger than any hanger you'd ever seen, filled with more stormtroopers than you'd ever seen at once. And they all looked identical too… If that didn't say something about the type of people fighting for the First Order then you didn't know what did.

Ren walked swiftly out of the hanger, everyone he passed moving out of his way in what looked like fear, not respect. You stuck behind him, looking down to avoid the stares you received.

Eventually Ren stopped walking and opened a door, grabbing your shoulder to roughly shove you into a room. You looked around the empty walls and single bed before realizing that this was a prison cell.

"Really?" you sighed, looking back at Ren. "I came with you willingly and now I'm your prisoner?"

"You will remain so until your intentions here are clear," was all he replied with, and him turning away was the last thing you saw before the door slid shut and locked, leaving you alone.

You sighed deeply and sat down on the hard bed, rubbing your face with your hand. This was a mess. A complete and total mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right well I started this because I just saw the new movie, my love for Kylo Ren has returned, but half the fics I could find were only smut or had the reader on the side of the First Order. Which is fine, but I think a neutral perspective could be interesting :P
> 
> Also I'm bad at remembering the names of the planets and ships, so anyone's welcome to fill in the blanks or correct me :P
> 
> *passes out cookies* I give cookie offerings at the end of every chapter, it's pretty much my signature thing xD


	2. Caution

Only several days spent in that prison cell and you were starting to go insane.

No one came in to talk to you, and the only interaction you had was with the stormtrooper that brought you your food. You couldn't even tell if it was the same stormtrooper each time. The cell itself was entirely plain, the bed was uncomfortable leaving you with sore spots whenever you woke up. There was a connected room to it at least, that housed only a toilet, and the space was cramped, but it was better than nothing. You would kill for a shower though.

By the eleventh day you were sick of it. You hadn't planned on using the Force to escape, as easy as it may have been, because you knew that was what Ren wanted you to do. He wanted to get some reaction from you, and unfortunately you were going to give it to him.

When the stormtrooper next came in, opening the door to give you a tray of food, you used the Force to fling him through the air, knocking him unconscious in your cell. Untrained as you were, you didn't know how to make people obey anything you said, so this was the other option. You stood up from where you'd been seated on the cold hard floor and walked out the open door.

Outside was a simple hallway, with a few stormtrooper guards walking around. You looked down at your dirty and messy appearance and figured there was no way you were going to pass as someone who worked on this ship. The three stormtroopers saw you and instantly went into attack mode, holding up their weapons.

"What are you doing here?" one of them asked.

"Going for a walk," you said flatly. "Uh…you saw nothing." The stormtroopers looked at each other and then back at you.

"Come with us," the one who had spoken before said. You frowned and held out your hand, willing his gun through the air to you, before aiming it back at him.

"Get in the cell," you commanded. The other two stormtroopers didn't move, but the weaponless one backed away towards the door. "Look, I think you two know how this goes. You have guns, I have the Force, who do you think's going to win?" They hesitated. "I don't particularly want to hurt you, and I'm not even trying to escape, so if you could just get in the cell, that'd be great." They walked towards the door. Once all three of them were in there with the unconscious one, you closed the door and heard it automatically lock.

Looking around the now empty hallway, you decided to just start walking in any direction. You knew nothing about the layout of this ship, and you knew you wouldn't be able to get off it anyway. But anything was better than that cell.

You were cautious with your adventuring, hiding around corners until stormtroopers weren't looking your way anymore before walking out. You kept the gun with you in case of emergency, but you didn't really have any intention of using it.

Eventually you reached a door that slid open on it's own, to reveal the bridge of the ship. A man with orange hair who you assumed was a general of sorts turned to look at you, obviously expecting someone else. He froze when he saw you, and you panicked for a moment.

A second later, you threw the stormtrooper gun to him, which he caught on reflex.

"There, now you have a gun, I'm unarmed and lost, there's no reason for you to murder me," you said, holding your hands up in surrender. The general just gaped at you for a moment.

"And who _are_ you?" he asked, then a look of realization spread across his features. "Oh you're Ren's new _pet_ , aren't you?"

"If I'm his pet then he should be sued for animal cruelty," you replied, folding your arms. "This is more human interaction than I've had in eleven days."

"Someone get Kylo Ren," the general spat to some nearby stormtroopers, and you noticed the menace when he said Ren's name.

"Great, gonna make me deal with Lord Helmet again," you muttered under your breath, but the general heard you. He didn't comment however, the only sign that he heard you being a slight twitch to his lips. Guess he didn't like Ren either. "So who are you?"

"General Hux," he said, standing tall as he said it.

"Oh," you said, recognizing the name. He was pretty much commander of the First Order, besides Kylo Ren and the Supreme Leader. "I uh…what ship am I on?"

"This is the Finalizer," Hux said, speaking as though to a child.

"That's…the important one, right?"

"Yes, it is the important one," he said, closing his eyes in irritation. A moment later, the door slid open behind you and Kylo Ren walked swiftly in. You sighed minutely as he walked up beside you, but you didn't face him.

"How did you get out?" he asked through that stupid helmet of his.

"I used the door," you replied, still not looking at him. "You didn't exactly make it hard."

"This is the girl who has the Force?" Hux said skeptically.

"Yes," Ren said, before addressing you again. "Follow me." You sighed before following him out of the bridge room.

The two of you walked in silence for a while, Ren leading the way, before he stopped and turned to you.

"What were you trying to achieve?" he asked.

"Human interaction," you retorted. "I get that you don't want me escaping but I don't even know how to fly a ship, locking me up like that is unnecessary." You suddenly felt your throat become tight, pressure pushing it inwards, choking you. Your eyes widened in panic as you tried to push back against the Force, but to no avail.

" _I_ decide what's necessary," Ren growled before releasing you. You took a deep shaky breath in, rubbing your neck. You glared up at him, but this time remained silent.

He led you straight back to your cell, which just seemed like a stupid idea to you. You could easily escape again. He closed to door on you without another word, and you just sighed deeply before sitting down on the bed again.

"Cell sweet cell," you muttered. He couldn't keep you in here forever though, surely he was going to try to convert you to the dark side.

What surprised you was only a few hours later when Ren came back, the cell door opening to reveal him standing there.

"Come with me," was all he said before walking off, and you scurried to stand up and follow him. You bit back your instinctive response of some sarcastic comment, not wanting to get Force choked again.

He led you to another area on the ship, a place you hadn't seen before. You added it to the mental map of the place that you were slowly putting together. It wasn't as plain and empty as where you prison cell had been.

He opened up a door and led you into a room, before stopping and turning to you but without saying anything. You looked around the room, noticing that there was a bed. A bigger, much more comfortable looking bed. There was also a doorway which you hoped led to a proper bathroom, and a wardrobe.

"This is…a room," you said slowly.

"Yes," Ren said, and you could practically feel the eye roll. "You will be staying here from now on. The door won't be locked, but there will be a guard there that is to accompany you if you wish to explore the ship."

"You're giving me an actual room," you stated incredulously. This was a sudden change of heart, there had to be some ulterior motive.

"You're not a prisoner here," Ren said. "And perhaps you'll soon become a student."

"I already told you I don't want any part in your war," you muttered, but you were starting to smile a little at the fact that you now had an actual room.

"We'll see," Ren said, before turning to walk out of the room.

"Thank you," you said quietly. Ren paused for a moment before continuing on his way and leaving you alone in the room. You looked around for a few seconds before walking over to the door and opening it, just to test if it really was unlocked. There was a stormtrooper on the other side who glanced over as you poked your head out into the hallway before stepping back inside with a smile.

The first thing you did was check the bathroom, which was in fact a bathroom, with a fully functioning shower and everything. You looked over your reflection in the mirror and…well, you'd seen better days. Your hair was a scruffy mess, you were just dirty in general, and you had bags under your eyes from the lack of any good sleep in that cell.

The next thing you did was use that bathroom to take a shower. You let the warm water wash away the dirt and grub, and took a few minutes to just relax. You dried off and with a towel wrapped around you, went in search of some clothes. The wardrobe had a few already in there, all in blacks and greys, and they didn't fit perfectly but it was still something. You ended up in a grey t-shirt and some black pants, and put your old shoes back on. You didn't do your hair up, but tidied it so it was presentable, though still a little damp.

And then, you went outside of the room. The stormtrooper guard didn't speak to you, but started following behind as you walked off. Again, you realized you had no idea where you were going.

"So…where can I get food around here?" you asked the stormtrooper.

"This way," he said immediately, and you started following him as he walked in the opposite direction you'd been going. Where he led you to was a sort of cafeteria type area of sorts, that was mostly empty. It was probably an odd time to be eating, so you just walked into the attached kitchen and went searching through the fridge for some food. You found something, though you weren't sure exactly what it was, but it was edible which is what mattered.

After that you just wandered around the ship. You found the ship hanger again, some tightly packed quarters that you assumed was for the stormtroopers, a few rooms of weapons and some other strange places.

As you were rounding a corner, you noticed some stormtroopers who had just walked around that corner turning around and walking back. Tilting your head you looked around the corner to see sparks flying from a room, and angry shouts that could only be coming from Kylo Ren.

You noticed your stormtrooper guard hesitate as you walked towards the room. "You can stay here," you said to him, and he gladly obeyed. You walked slowly over to the room and then stood in the doorway, watching as Kylo Ren took out his anger on the poor walls of the room. The place was beyond repair, and from some of the gashes it looked like this wasn't the first time this had happened.

"So," you said, and Ren stopped moving, looking over at you with fury in his eyes.

Hold up a second, you could see his eyes. And his whole head in fact. The helmet caught your eye, lying disregarded, and crushed for that matter, on the floor.

"I get that the helmet sucked, but did it really deserve that?" you said, looking back at Ren. He was younger than you'd expected, with long black hair and a scar running down half his face. And in all honesty, he was actually pretty good looking.

"Shut up," he snarled, but withdrew his lightsaber. "What do you want?"

"I was just wandering around," you said. "You know, I think not having the helmet suits you better." He didn't reply, just stared at you with the fury still burning in his eyes, so you continued. "You look less like a Darth Vader wannabe and more like your own person."

"Really," he said flatly, but you still heard the question hidden in his tone.

You nodded. "Plus some actual show of emotional never hurt anyone. Makes you seem human."

"Emotion is a weakness," he spat.

"Someone who's motivated is always going to do better than someone who's not," you pointed out. "And emotions tend to motivate. So really, emotions are a strength."

"You've obviously never been in battle," Ren said, putting his lightsaber away at his side.

"Never plan on it either," you said. He looked at you, narrowing his eyes slightly as if studying you. You shrunk a little under the intensity of his gaze.

"How can you be so neutral to everything happening around you?" he asked, his voice filled with genuine confusion.

You shrugged. "The war doesn't affect me. I guess…" You paused, hesitating. "If you must know, I don't really have anything to fight for."

"What about your family?" he asked, surprising you. He didn't seem to be the type of person to care about family.

You looked down. "They're dead," you said bluntly. "Who knows, maybe you're the one who killed them. They were part of the Rebellion after all."

"You don't want to continue what they started?"

"Well if I chose to do that now, you'd kill me in an instant," you said, trying to draw the topic away. It wasn't something you enjoyed thinking too deeply about.

He didn't reply, only stared at you with deep brown eyes. You couldn't help feeling the resent you held towards him fade away a little, at knowing that he really was just another person under that helmet, who experienced emotions like everyone else.

"Staring at me like that isn't going to give you all the answers," you said when the silence was getting drawn out too long.

"I could always just Force you to tell me," he replied, his hand twitching as if going to raise it. You took a hurried step back from him, out of the room.

"Nope," you said quickly. "My mind is private thank you very much." You were surprised when he just fell into silence again, not pushing you to talk. In the lack of anything to say, you decided now was the time to make your exit. "Well…I'll see you around Ren." You turned and walked away before he could say anything else, the same way he had walked away from you on multiple occasions.

And as you walked, it crossed your mind that maybe this wasn't so bad after all. Sure he was rough around the edges…but you had a room now, you were being treated like a human being. And Kylo Ren wasn't just the emotionless helmet you'd labelled him as.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm quite excited for this fic, I don't normally update this soon xD There hasn't been much proper interaction between them yet but I'm planning that for the next chapter :P And I guess this is set a little ways into The Last Jedi since the helmet and scar things, though I'll be straying from that storyline
> 
> Also been looking into getting a remote control BB-8...because he's adorable and I need one in my life xD
> 
> And here is your chapterly cookie offering :P *hands out various flavours of cookies*


	3. Connection

Despite having the ability to freely roam the Finalizer, there wasn't really much to actually do. There weren't exactly many people who wanted to talk to you at the risk of Kylo Ren coming near them, and you participating in any type of training would make it seem like you were giving in to Ren. But at this point it was just like the prison cell, you were too bored not to do what he wanted.

You found where the stormtroopers trained on one of the days you were exploring, and sat to the side as you watched them. They didn't exactly have the best aim most of the time, but they weren't too bad at other weapons. You noted that the silver stormtrooper from the day you were taken from your planet was in charge most of the time. It also didn't take you long to realize that she was a woman.

She had noticed you sitting off to the side, but at first she never reacted, and you assumed she just didn't want to mess with Kylo Ren's 'pet'.

"You've been watching our training for several days now," she said one day, and you jumped in surprise. You hadn't noticed her walk over to you.

"Yeah," you said. "Not much else to do really."

"Perhaps you'd care to join us?" she asked, but you shook your head.

"I can't," you said.

"Because Kylo Ren doesn't want you to?" she pressed.

"Because he _does,_ " you replied. "As much as I can shoot better than your troopers, I'm not doing what he wants me to do."

"It's my knowledge that he wants you to become his student," she said. "Not train with the stormtroopers." You paused, considering this for a moment.

"Did you just find a loophole for me?" you asked. She didn't reply, just faced the training stormtroopers again. "Huh. Thanks."

"I believe you mentioned having better aim than my troopers," she said. "I'd like to test this." You smirked slightly, standing up straight. "I'm Captain Phasma, by the way."

"And you already know who I am," you said. "Nice to meet you." She just nodded slightly before leading you over to some target practice. She passed you one of the standard stormtrooper guns which you turned over in your hands a few times to get used to the feel. The target was pretty boring, and you fired off five shots into the centre with barely any thought. 

"If I'm not mistaken, there are moving hologram targets?" you asked as Phasma looked at the target.

"Yes," she said slowly. She led you over to the moving target setup, which you went and stood in the middle of, allowing her to turn on the hologram type targets around you.

It was a bit harder than the still target, and a few of your shots were a bit off centre from the lack of practice you'd been doing, but overall you were pretty happy with your performance. As you were walking back to hand the blaster back to Phasma, you noticed Kylo Ren standing to the side, watching you. In the next split second, you made what was probably a stupid decision.

Raising the gun, you shot a single shot right at him. Luckily for him, his reflexes were just as quick, and he stopped your shot easily using the Force.

There was a moment of silence from you, Ren, Phasma, and any stormtroopers who had stopped as they saw the attack. Without a word, Ren moved out of the way and let the shot fire into the wall, causing sparks and a black mark in the wall.

"I think you'll find that even if you hadn't blocked that," you said quickly as he started walking over to you, "it would've hit you in the arm, nothing fatal."

"Or maybe you're just a bad shot," Ren said, stopped several feet away from you. He didn't have the helmet on again. Well obviously, he'd destroyed it after all, but it was just different seeing him without it.

"I can confirm that she isn't," Phasma said, and Ren glared at her. To your surprise, Phasma didn't even flinch.

"Well…" you started. "I think I'll be going now." You started walking off in a hurry, not really wanting to see Ren's proper reaction.

"No," you heard Ren command from behind you, but you kept walking. It was then that you felt a pull, Force pulling you backwards. You scowled and pushed back suddenly and harshly, straight at Ren. You heard a stumble, and looked back to see him catching his balance and staring at you.

"I believe it was you who said I'm not a prisoner here," you growled. "Which means I don't have to do every damn thing you tell me." Anger bloomed in Ren's expression, and you felt a push this time. More specifically, a squeeze around your throat. One hand flew up, gripping at the invisible force. With your other you reached out with the Force and flung whatever you could find at him. The object you'd found was some pointy weapon, you weren't really sure, and Ren dropped the choke hold to stop it from hitting him.

"Ren, I will fight you," you threatened. "Don't make me." He simply narrowed his eyes and put a hand to his lightsaber. You quickly used the force to bring a blaster to you. Probably not the best defense, but it was all you had.

It occurred to you then that the two of you had attracted quite the crowd. Stormtroopers were all gathered around at a safe distance, watching the two of you cautiously. Even Phasma had backed away a bit, but was still watching.

"You know I don't like conflict," you said as Ren started approaching you, the lightsaber lighting up in his hand with a harsh sound.

"Maybe that's your problem," he said, and you noticed he was about to lunge at you, so instead you raised the gun and shot quickly at him, all shots in different places so it would be harder to block. As he deflected the shots you took that chance to run further from him, assessing your chances. You looked for anything that would block a lightsaber and found nothing. So you decided to do what you always did, and not fight.

You dropped the gun you held, glaring at Ren as he approached again, lightsaber still in hand.

"You said you'd fight," he snapped.

"You have a _lightsaber_ ," you retorted. "What am I supposed to do?"

"You give up too easily," he said, raising the lightsaber to your neck, the heat from it spreading over you.

"Good thing I'm not your student then, or that would _really_ annoy you," you snapped. He didn't respond, simply searched your expression with calculating eyes. There was anger there too, but it certainly wasn't as bad as you were expecting it to be, and that scared you more than the anger did.

Then what surprised you was how he withdraw the lightsaber and left the room without another word, black cape billowing out behind him. You gaped at him slightly.

"I'm going to kill him," you said lightly. "I'm just…"

"He's right." You turned to glare at Phasma who had spoken behind you. "You do give up too easily."

"He had a _lightsaber,_ " you said slowly.

"And you had no reason to fight," Phasma said, and you blinked at how quickly she managed to figure that out. "He was just trying to give you one."

"By riling me up?" you said, before realizing that yes, that's exactly what he'd been doing. He knew already that you didn't like getting Force choke by him, why else would he do it again. "So…he wasn't just being an asshole then."

"Apparently not," Phasma said, before walking off to get her troops back to training. That left you standing there alone, contemplating what had just happened. Ren's methods were questionable, but the intention wasn't as bad as you originally thought.

You sighed quietly before exiting the room, heading back to you own little room to rest and think some more.

~~

Your next proper encounter with Kylo Ren happened several days later, when you were yet again bored. You'd started making a habit of going to train with the stormtroopers, and Ren did pop in every now and then, but he stayed back, never saying anything and only observing. He seemed to be assessing your abilities.

Your explorations of the ship led you to find one room that was empty most of the time, with a large window reaching from floor to ceiling. You could look out with a perfect view of space, of stars and planets, and it was beautiful and peaceful. That became your new favourite place to go, and your stormtrooper guard usually waited outside, leaving you with some privacy in there.

You sat cross legged in front of the window this time, just looking out at the vastness of space, at the unfamiliar planets and constellations. It all seemed so far away, yet at the same time made you feel like such a small detail in the world.

You closed your eyes and concentrated, reaching out with the Force to feel everything around you. It had been a while since you'd done this, and you knew you weren't close enough to any planets to feel them, but the ship alone would be interesting enough.

Through the Force, you felt all the details of what was going on in the ship. Stillness from those who were sleeping, movement from those training. Calm from those not stationed to work, stress from those being commanded to do actions. Happiness from quite a few more people than you would have expected, anger, sadness…

The strange mix of anger and sadness was what caught you, and it took a moment to realize that it was Ren you were feeling. You felt the moment he became aware of you too, by what must have just felt like a small rush of Force by him. You retreated immediately, but not entirely, as he did the same thing you were doing, simply reaching out, though his intention was to search for you. He found you of course, being more skilled in use of the Force, and you were surprised to find that his presence wasn't harsh like you'd expected but much more soft. 

A moment passed where neither of you really did anything, and then you just decided to open your eyes and filter the image of space through to him as best you could, along with a hint of that peaceful feeling you had. You hadn't done this before so you weren't sure if you succeeded, but you must have as you felt his surprise before you cut it off, withdrawing your senses and standing up. You walked from the room quickly, heading straight back to your quarters and trying to figure out what just happened.

It was several hours later you felt a push in your mind, through the Force again. It was Ren but he wasn't being invading. You thought about it for a moment before allowing the connection to form, since really he hadn't shown any bad intentions towards you and there was no need to block him out.

He cut it off quickly, but not before he sent through a sort of image like you had done earlier. It was the same window, the same view of space, though a slightly different perspective since he was taller. As the connection broke and the image vanished, you couldn't help noticing that you were smiling softly. You didn't really know why…but this one small thing that the two of you had now shared, it just seemed to bring a little more light to your whole situation, just a bit more happiness. Maybe you could grow to like this place after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the start of writing this chapter I had no idea where it was going, but I'm actually really happy with how it turned out xD I kind of like experimenting with ways they could use the Force. And also, woo some common ground between them that can develop :D
> 
> Also, I do prefer referring to him as Kylo, but I'm only calling him Ren for now because the reader has no real connection to him yet :P 
> 
> As always, cookie offering!! *hands out cookies in the shape of BB-8*


	4. Proposition

That simple interaction between the two of you using the Force was just the beginning. You found that training yourself mentally with the Force was a good pass time, and you began spending hours on end in the room with the window, sitting with your eyes closed and focusing on the feeling of the Force around you, building a deeper connection with it.

Of course, it was impossible to do that subtly with another Force user on the ship, and it was likely that Ren was almost always aware of what you were doing. You found that this didn't bother you as much as you thought it would.

What did bother you during these sorts of sessions was the emotion you could feel from others. Most people on the ship you were able to just tune out, but Ren was particularly loud. Whether or not this was just a Force thing, you couldn't tell. But he always seemed…distressed, angry. You never sensed any happiness from him.

One day amongst the many you'd spent here, of which you were really starting to lose count, Ren spoke to you through that ever present connection.

"Why do you always sit in there?"

At first you were surprised, looking around and expecting to see him in the room with you. But there was nothing, he was just a voice in your mind. It was hard to tell whether he had spoken aloud or not on his end.

"The view," you replied, speaking aloud because it was easier than projecting thoughts. "It's beautiful…you can see the vastness of space, whole worlds yet everything just looks so small…" There was no reply from him. "It makes you realize just how insignificant one person can be in comparison to everything else out there."

"You think you're insignificant…" It was more of a statement than a question.

You shrugged, wondering if he could see that you had. "It's not like I've made an impact on the world. And don't you dare start on how that's just because I don't fight." You felt a slight brush of amusement from him and smiled the tiniest bit against your will. 

There was silence for quite a while after that, the connection not broken but also barely there. You were the one who reached out this time.

"You know, maybe appreciating the beauty of this world would do you some good," you said. "Might make you less…angry and all." He didn't respond again, though you could tell he heard you. He certainly seemed to be a lot quieter here than when he was with you in person.

"Less needs to be said when you can feel the response instead."

It took a moment to dawn on you that he'd just heard pretty much what you were thinking and you panicked for a moment, wondering what else he could hear.

"I haven't been going through your mind, don't worry."

"Is that supposed to be reassuring?" you muttered, and there was that amusement again. Another comfortable silence followed, and you eventually cut off the connection as you stood up and left the room.

~~

Later that same day, you were lying on the bed in your quarters and staring up at the ceiling. You let your mind wander, thinking about your situation on the ship. Sure it wasn't as bad as it could've been, but it still seemed empty. You felt more like a prisoner than another person living on this ship. A prisoner with the ability to do as they pleased, but still only a prisoner. You were at the mercy of Ren, whether you liked it or not.

"You think loudly."

"Thought you said you weren't going through my thoughts Ren," you muttered. You hadn't started any Force connection, so this connection must be entirely his fault.

"I was training and overheard you."

"Well I'm sorry, I'll just go turn off my mind then, sorry for interrupting," you murmured with a sharp tone. He was silent for a brief moment.

"What you were feeling…that wasn't the feeling of being a prisoner."

"Care to elaborate?"

"You're lonely."

The word hit you hard, two simple syllables sending a sharp pang through your chest. But what was worse was when you realized that what he said was true. You really did just feel lonely. There was just never anyone to talk to, despite so many people surrounding you at all times of the day. That was the worst kind of loneliness. Sure it wasn't particularly new to you, but usually you were on your own by choice. But this time, it was everyone else avoiding you that was the cause.

"Maybe you're right," you muttered. 

"I know I am, I just heard that whole revelation."

"Shut up, I was going somewhere with that," you said, without any real harshness. You felt that touch of amusement yet again, and started briefly wondering if he actually enjoyed your sarcastic wit. Before he could comment on the thoughts he could probably hear, you continued. "I'm still a prisoner though. If I wasn't, I'd be able to leave this spaceship whenever I wanted."

There was no reply from him.

"You can't deny that," you said, smiling sadly. "I'm stuck here until you let me go."

"We can't risk the Resistance finding you."

"Why, it's not like I'll fight for them either," you scoffed. "Just admit it Ren, I'm still your prisoner."

"You don't have to be. You could—"

"Stopping you there, please don't say I could be a student, you know I'm not doing that." You felt annoyance from him at having being cut off, and anger slowly building. It was probably best to leave before he really got angry. "Goodnight Ren." You shut the connection out before he could say anything more, and purposely blocked your mind against any further conversation from him as you rolled over and tried to get some sleep.

~~

You slept restlessly, waking several times before it was time to actually get up. There wasn't really a concept of 'night' in space, but you had timers set to keep up your natural sleep cycle. You could tell from the state of your bed sheets that you'd been tossing and turning in your sleep, and that was never a good thing.

You tried to ignore the shadows beneath your eyes when you looked in the mirror to fix up your hair before leaving your quarters. It wasn't like anyone would notice anyway. Leaving your room, you squinted at the stormtrooper guard who was ever present by your side.

"I have to know, are you always the same trooper following me around?" you asked.

"Lord Ren commanded us to have two guards alternating," the stormtrooper replied without even looking at you.

"Well that's better than always having a different person," you muttered under your breath before walking off, not even to check if the trooper was following, which he was because of course he was.

You went first to grab some food, sitting in the cafeteria type area to eat it. There were a few other people there, important people since this wasn't where the stormtroopers were permitted to eat. You glanced around at them curiously, trying to guess what each of them did. Maybe some were medics, maybe some piloted the ship.

Perhaps you could talk to some of them, make some friends. Ren was right after all, you really were lonely, and if you didn't go to them then absolutely none of them would approach you, not with how everyone just assumed you were Ren's pet.

"______." You heard your name and looked up to see Captain Phasma standing there. She sat down beside you with her food.

"Anything interesting happen lately?" you asked her, looking back down at your plate.

"Nothing of importance," Phasma replied. You heard a sound and realized she was taking her helmet off. Then it occurred to you that _of course_ they took their helmets off to eat. You tried not to stare, but you'd come to know her simply as her helmet appeared.

She was pale, with short blond hair. Probably didn't get enough sun with that helmet on all the time. Her gaze was harsh but not entirely cruel or hateful. Her mouth lay in a flat expression, and in all honestly she looked quite a bit exhausted. She glanced at you and caught your stare, to which you looked away quickly, coughing in an attempt to cover up the movement.

"It's okay, I can understand the fascination," was all she said before she went about eating her food in silence.

You finished your own food eventually and stood, intending to wander the ship again and hopefully find something fun to do. Or at least some time consuming. Perhaps you'd go sit in your window room again.

"Lord Ren was looking for you," Phasma said as you started walking away. You frowned.

"Of course he was," you muttered to yourself before exiting the room. He was probably still angry you'd cut him off completely the night before. You reassessed the idea of going to your window room and training with the Force, he'd be able to communicate with you then, and right now you didn't want to deal with that. Then again, it might be good training to block him out.

You started heading towards the window room, stormtrooper close behind you as always. You scoffed slightly to yourself. Only prisoners needed guards like this. You reached the room without any encounter from Ren, and walked inside with your guard staying outside the door. You settled in front of the window, looking out at the vastness of space. It looked different than it had the previous day, perhaps the ship had gone into light speed and ended up somewhere different entirely. You scanned for any familiar constellations and found none, sighing.

As usual, you reached out with the Force, looking for anything new. The presence of Kylo was immediately, but you purposely pushed him out. He obviously noticed and pushed back, but you refused to let him get anywhere near your head. Eventually he gave up, to your surprise.

Without his presence, the ship seemed much more quiet. It was certainly far from peaceful, but it was quiet. You absently looked around, noting that General Hux was in a room somewhere having annoyed thoughts about Ren to your amusement.

You were startled from your searching as the door to your room opened. A brief allowance of Ren back into your mind led you to realize that he was standing in the doorway behind you.

"What do you want?" you muttered, not standing or even turning to face him.

He walked forward, the door closing behind him, and stood beside you. You looked at him in your peripheral vision and saw that he was also looking out of the window, standing tall in his usual all black clothing.

"You never let me finish," he started.

"I didn't want to hear the end," you muttered. He glared at you out of the corner of his eye and you just glared right back at him.

"You don't have to be a prisoner here," he said, his voice coaxing. You scowled and stood up, crossing your arms and looking up at him.

"I am not joining your side Ren," you growled before turning and making to leave the room. However the door wouldn't open, and you turned to glare at Ren who had his arm outstretched, holding the door shut.

"Let me finish," he snapped, a scowl on his face and anger in his eyes as he looked at you. You simple returned the look but stayed silent. "You don't have to chose a side to be a student."

"Pretty sure that's how it works," you said. "If you try to teach me it's only going to go dark."

"That's up to you, not me. It's your choice to resist the dark side."

You fell silent, a look of confliction passing over your expression. Ren lowered his arm slowly, as if trying not to set you off with any sudden movements.

"I could teach you," he said. "I won't make you choose a side, but I can teach you the fundamentals, the things you never learnt."

"Why?" you asked quietly. "Aren't I just a weapon to be used by either side?"

"To some, maybe."

Well that was vague. "Are you just pitying me because I'm lonely?"

"No," Ren said with a surprising amount of surety in his tone. "I don't pity you."

"Then what?" you demanded. "Last I checked you weren't exactly the most charitable person in the world, so why help me?"

"Because," he said. "You're a lot like me in some ways. And you have potential." You didn't reply, just kept up the slightly annoyed glare you were giving him. "Think about it," he said, before briskly brushing past you and exiting the room.

You were left with nothing but your thoughts. You let the annoyed demeanour drop, and frowned uncertainly. He raised an interesting point, and his reasoning wasn't horrible. Maybe…just maybe you'd take him up on his offer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh, playing around with what they can do with the Force is fun xD Anywayyy, the Reader will start calling him Kylo soon, which is great coz I keep typing Kylo instead of Ren xD This is probably my favourite fic to write at the minute, I always like writing fantasy aspects like the Force xD
> 
> COOKIE OFFERING *hands out cookies in fun and interesting shapes*


End file.
